


Spectrum Of A Rainbow

by Codeblackglitter



Category: Original Work
Genre: Bisexual Character, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Canon LGBTQ Character, Canon LGBTQ Female Character, Canon LGBTQ Male Character, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Girls Kissing, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Character of Color, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Character, M/M, Multi, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Sexual Confusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-28 01:03:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15037256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Codeblackglitter/pseuds/Codeblackglitter
Summary: Felicitas is 23 and she thinks that she has everything figured out. She knows what she wants in life  and who she is as a person, the hard teenage years and crisis is behind her. However, her life turns upside down when she meets Omid, his observations throwing her off balance. Suddenly she finds herself questioning  her sexuality. Just a day ago she had been so sure, she'd been sure that she was straight. Yet here she was, wondering if she was in love with her friend Rachel. Follow Felicitas through her journey of finding herself and accepting herself.





	1. Chapter One

This was the night that would mark the beginning of change for Felicitas, of course she didn't know it at the time. She just thought that it was going to be another day out with friends. 

She stood in front of her full-body mirror in her hallway, braiding the top of her head to turn her cotton pink hair into space-buns with a twist. She was going clubbing with her best friend Felix, she'd kept her outfit and makeup simple, a regular smokey eye and the classic little black dress. One would think that she'd get sick of the bar environment since she worked as a bartender, but she loved it and couldn't get enough of it, she thrived in the environment. She was almost 23 and people told her it was time to get an education so that she could get a real job, so she could have a family and all that. It wasn't however her plan at all. No, he plan was to have fun, save money and open her own bar, preferably in a warm country like Greece or Spain. Not get married, have kids and work a 9 to 5 job, something that shocked most people, especially older ones. Unlike Felix who studied to become a middle school teacher, had a stable relationship and wanted a whole football team of kids. She supported Felix in that dream as well as he supported her in her dreams, they both agreed that life was too short to spend it pleasing other people. You should always go after your dreams and live your life as you want to and that was what they both would do and support each other in. She was done with her hair right on time and popped her feet in her only pair of heels. She wouldn't have to run to the bus even though she walked fast. Felix would be pissed if she missed the bus, which she thankfully didn't. 

"Hi." She greeted Felix when she got on the bus, he lived further away from the club than she did and was thus already on the bus. 

"Hello there." He greeted back as she sat down next to him. "Nice spin on those double bun things." He said and pointed at her hair, she'd tried a new thing when mixing in the corn braids. 

"It's called space buns." She pointed out before thanking him. They spent the bus ride having small talk about life and what had happened since the last time they saw each other. It felt a little weird to go clubbing without a warmup party. But they didn't have time since Felix and his classmates had a late class, but they were going to have fun anyway. 

When they arrived at the club it took them awhile to find Felix's friends, once they did he introduced her and the one who stood out to her was a girl named Rachel, her dark brown curls framing her round face, so she sat down next to her and presented herself. Avoiding looking too much into her dark blue eyes.

"Was it Felicia?" Rachel asked, screaming in her ear, the music was so loud that it made conversation difficult. 

"No, Felicitas" she screamed back in Rachel's ear. 

 

"Felicitas?" Rachel doubled checked and Felicitas nodded. "Cool name!" She smiled. 

"Thanks, it's from a Roman goddess." She answered, Felicitas was used to her name being mistaken for Felicia and there was a time when she didn't correct people, when she wished that Felicia actually was her name. That she didn't have an odd name. But that was when she was young, these days she liked having an odd name, it fitted her since she was quite odd herself. Felicitas and Rachel spent a while trying to small talk to get to know each other but it didn't really go very well due to the music so they decided to go and grab a drink each and then started dancing. The duo spent the rest of the night like that, grabbing drinks and dancing, until Felix came up to them and let them know that the club was closing. Disappointed they chugged the remains of their drinks as they walked toward the exit. Once outside Rachel reached out her phone toward Felicitas. 

"Wanna give me your number?" She asks, her voice loud but gradually got lower. They'd gotten so used to the high music and that they had to scream at each other that it was easy to just keep talking in the same screaming voice. Felicitas nodded and took Rachel's phone while at the same time giving Rachel her own phone. With a few quick moves of their thumbs they'd put in their phone numbers in each others phone. As they traded back their phones they hugged goodbye and Rachel went off with one of the men in the group to get home. 

"Got a new friend?" Felix said with a huge smile, he was happy that she got along with his new friends. She was an important and huge part of his life and now that both Felicitas and his girlfriend had met and gotten along with his new friends he felt relieved. 

"Yeah, we had a lot of fun." Felicitas yawned and smiled at the same time, the sun was coming up and she'd danced for hours. Due to her job as a bartender she was used to being up all night but she wasn't used to dancing. 

 

"I'm glad to hear that." He said and put his arm around her shoulders. Felicitas phone beeped and she saw that she'd gotten a text from Rachel. 

Thank you for tonight! I had so much fun. <3 

Felicitas smiled and answered that she also had fun and hoped to meet again soon, pressing send just as the bus arrived. When she and Felix had found a seat she dropped her head on his shoulder and spent the entire trip half asleep on his shoulder. He shook her shortly before it was time for her to get off. 

"Text me when you're home." Felix smiled at her before she stood up nodding and saying goodbye. If it wasn't for the fact that she could she her apartment complex from the bus stop Felix would've probably insisted on walking her home, he was overprotective of both her and his girlfriend and would never forgive himself if something were to happen to either of them. As soon as she'd closed the front door behind her she texted Felix, kicked off her shoes and walked straight to the bedroom collapsing on her bed. Exhausted but happy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked the first chapter! There's a lot more to come. A comment and kudos is always appreciated. Love, Rebecca


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicitas and Rachel's friendship evolves but things change as Rachel gets a boyfriend. In an attempt to save their friendship Rachel sets up a double date.

Over the next two months Rachel and Felicitas grew closer, they spoke everyday and met every chance they got. Rachel even hanged out at the bar while Felicitas worked more than half of her shifts. It was great and Felicitas really enjoyed Rachel's company, they always had a lot of fun. Then one day, Rachel calls Felicitas as soon as her shift at the bar is over, she feels her heart leap and gets excited because she thinks they'll hang out. However, Rachel calls to tell her that she's just been on an amazing date with this guy named Josef who works as a car mechanic but he's into art and is amazing at paintings. She spends Felicitas whole 30 minute way home from work about him, about how beautiful his brown eyes were and how his natural tight curly hair had the most amazing brown shade. Felicitas knew that she should be happy and get excited with her friend but she just couldn't bring herself to be happy. Of course she didn't let Rachel know this, she did her best to seem genuinely happy for her, because that's what friends do. Felicitas explains her non-existent happiness as that she was just looking out for Rachel, that she didn't want her to get hurt and thus wouldn't be happy about it until she met this Josef guy. Again, this wasn't something she told Rachel, no, instead she asked if and when she would meet Josef again. With a high pitched voice she squealed that they would meet the next day. Felicitas pointed out that it was quick and that she would be careful not to move too fast, but Rachel insisted that it was okay, that they'd clicked instantly just like she and Felicitas had.

When Felicitas met Josef it didn't take her long to realize that she didn't like him at all, she thought that he wasn't worthy of a girl like Rachel. There were also the fact that Rachel didn't hang out with her as much after meeting him with made her feel forgotten and disappointed and it didn't get better when Rachel announced that they would move in together after just two months. Felicitas didn't hear much from Rachel as they were busy with their move, so when she finally called and said that they'd settled in at their new apartment and that she missed her, Felicitas were beyond thrilled. That was until she suggested that they should go on a double date.

"I don't really have anyone to take on a double date." Felicitas said, faking a laugh to hide her nervousness. "I don't think Felix's girlfriend would be thrilled if I took him." She joked, trying to escape the situation she found herself in. She wasn't exactly excited about the thought of going on a double date where Josef would be. She'd rather have a girl night like they used to have before Rachel met him.

"I have someone in mind silly." Rachel laughed and Felicitas felt her heart sink. "It's a friend of Josef's, I think you two are going to get along great!" Rachel talked with an high pitched voice, a true sign that she was excited. Felicitas on the other hand wasn't, as if it wasn't enough with Josef's company, now she was supposed to date his friends. Felicitas was as sure as Rachel was that they would get along, that they in fact wouldn't get along at all. However, she had absolutely no reason to not agree to this and she did miss Rachel, so she agreed even though she wasn't thrilled about it. They decided to meet up Thursday night since Felicitas worked the entire weekend.

When Thursday evening came Felicitas reluctantly got ready for their double date. She didn't put any effort into her looks though, she just threw her pink hair up in a regular ponytail and threw on some make up, basically just some mascara, as opposed to what she used to do with her eyeshadows and eyeliner. She didn't even put an effort into her clothing, something she usually loved doing, she just took the first pair of black leggings she found and some old oversized band t-shirt that she'd turned into a tank top, matching it with a black bomber jacket and boots. She knew that Rachel would comment on how it looked like she didn't even try but it was because she wasn't. Felicitas only went on this date thing because she wanted to see Rachel and right now this seemed like the only way. This however, didn't stop her from dragging her feet behind her as she made her way to the restaurant, it was walking distance from her apartment so she didn't have to catch a bus. While slowly making her way there she tried to come up with a good excuse not to show up, however, she didn't think of one in time. She didn't have a single excuse, except that she simply didn't feel like it, when she saw the restaurant and then Rachel noticed her, running toward Felicitas embracing her in a hug.

 

"I've missed you." Rachel said as she hugged her a little harder. When Felicitas only answer was a quiet hum, she let go. "We'll have a girls night soon. just the two of us I promise." Rachel added, smiling a little too big before turning around and walked back over to Josef and another man, who she assumed would be her date.

"This is Omid" Rachel said with an overly excited and high pitched voice as she gestured toward the tall man beside Josef, "and this is Felicitas." She said with the same voice as she moved her hands to point at her.

"Nice to meet you Felicitas" Omid smiled at her, he was handsome she couldn't deny that. His pitch black hair was styled back perfectly and his beard in matching color were just perfect. His eyes a so dark shade of brown that they were almost black and as if this wasn't enough, when he smiled she noticed that his teeth were impossibly white.

"Nice to meet you too." Felicitas lied and smiled back. "Should we go inside? I'm starving." She lied again, she wasn't anything close to hungry, she felt sick to her stomach but she just wanted this to be over with so she could go home and just not be where she was at that moment.

"Yeah, me too." Rachel agreed, smiling as she locked their arms together, leading her into the restaurant. When inside a waiter led them to a table for four and Felicitas sat next to Rachel and opposite to Omid. It was harder than it should be to see Rachel and Josef together, everything he did annoyed her and she couldn't wrap her head around why on earth Rachel would be with him. Omid was nice though, he asked questions and seemed genuinely interested. If she wasn't so set on getting over with this date as fast as possible she might've even enjoyed his company. Thankfully the food arrived quickly, one of the perks of going out on a Thursday was that most people didn't so the restaurant wasn't exactly swamped.

It did however seem like they spent an eternity in that restaurant if you asked Felicitas and that everyone ate unusually slowly. She knew that it wasn't the case, it was just her torment of seeing a nice girl like Rachel with a lowlife like Josef that made it seem so long. When everyone had finally finished their food and Felicitas thought it was over, Rachel asked if they'd like to grab a drink at the bar. Felicitas declined with the simple but not true explanation that she wanted a calm evening before working the weekend. She loved the environment that was bars and couldn't get enough of it, what she could get enough of and didn't stand was spending more time with Josef.

She was so close to finally getting to be alone again when Omid asked her if she wanted him to walk her home, since he work early he didn't plan on staying either. She was of course going to decline but before she could, Rachel poked her side. 

"Of course she wants that!" Rachel squealed as she answered for Felicitas. Though she didn't bother to argue, it wasn't Omid she wanted to get rid of as soon as possible, it was Josef and the way Rachel were around him.

 

"Yeah, sure why not." She nodded and shrugged her shoulders. It wasn't only due to Rachel's meddling she accepted though, she didn't like the thought of walking home alone in the dark. Omid was tall and muscular so she knew that nobody would bother her if she walked with him. Felicitas and Omid said goodbye to the other two and Rachel hugged them both. Felicitas was well aware that Rachel hoped and prayed that she would start dating Omid, but that just wasn't going to happen, regardless of looks.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Felicitas spends some time alone with Omid, her world turns upside down.

Felicitas and Omid walked slowly, she didn't feel the need to rush now that she'd escaped the thing that caused her pain. They had nice smalltalk, laughing about how Omid lied about having early work because he didn't want to be a third wheel. She really enjoyed Omid's company, he was really nice and funny. 

"Can I ask you something?" Omid says, his tone changing to a more serious tone. Felicitas were a little surprised and caught of guard. 

"Uh, yeah, sure." She said, her voice a little shaky. 

"You're in love with Rachel, right?" He said, she thought he was joking but he kept a straight face and he did sound serious. 

"What?" She said, really confused. "No. Absolutely not." She said when Omid remained silent and shook her head making her ponytail whip behind her. 

"It's okay if you are, I'm not judging." Omid said calmly, keeping his hands in his pockets. 

"Yes, of course it would be okay if I were, otherwise you'd be an asshole. But I'm not in love with Rachel." She continued to argue and again he was silent for too long. "I'm straight and Rachel is a girl so I do not have romantic feelings for her. Okay?" 

"Okay, if you say so." Omid didn't want to argue about it, he just felt the need to ask and Felicitas were clearly getting upset.

 

"Can I just ask you one thing before we drop the subject?" Felicitas asks, looking down at her black boots. 

"Of course." He answers still with a calm voice and hands in his pockets. 

"Why did you think that I was in love with her?" She asks, swallowing hard. "I'm just curious." She added quickly, shrugging her shoulders. 

"Oh, it's just the way you look at her as if she's the most perfect thing you've ever seen." He shrugged. "And then there's the way you look at Josef, like he's the worst person in the entire world and constantly looked away when they did something even slightly romantic." 

"You saw all of that during one dinner?" She asked, surprised that he seemed to have noticed things she wasn't aware of doing. 

"I work as a lawyer, it's my job to be observant." He smiled, showing off those ridiculously white teeth. She nodded and they continued their smalltalk the last minute of the walk to her apartment complex. Before saying goodbye, they decided to exchange phone numbers, though not to keep dating but to be friends. Omid was nice and easy to talk to and even though he was good looking, there wasn't that spark between them. There were also the fact that Omid was sure Felicitas had a huge crush on Rachel and who would want to date someone who had a crush on another person? Not Omid, he wasn't polyamorous, he tried that once with this girl he really loved but I didn't work for him. 

Despite Felicitas laughing about Omid ridiculous thought that she was in love with Rachel and insisting both to him and herself that she wasn't, she had a hard time falling asleep when she got home. She was really tired but she couldn't stop tossing and turning, thoughts about her conversation with Omid plagued her mind. There was no way that she looked at Rachel like that? Like she was the definition of perfection? He must've read too much into it. Though doesn't he read people for a living? But she wasn't a criminal, she hadn't done anything illegal or wrong. She just cared about a friend who was with someone she didn't like, someone who didn't deserve her. That was what Omid had seen but interpreted as Felicitas being in love, since Josef was his friend he obviously liked him and wouldn't think about that she didn't. That was the reason he'd interpreted the situation wrong. When this conclusion about the evenings events didn't calm her down and brought her to sleep, she picked up her phone from her nightstand. Sending a quick text message to Felix to see if he wanted to meet up tomorrow at their favorite café to talk. She just hoped that he didn't have classes too late so he'd have time before her shift. It was a struggle to find time to see each other when Felicitas worked nights and he had classes during the day. To her surprise Felix answered, he usually fell asleep early and went up early, he'd always been a morning person in contrary to Felicitas. 

Of course I want to meet you silly. I need to know how that double date went. 12pm? 

She sighed a little, of course he wanted some gossip from her date. Which he would get but not the kind he expected. 

Works for me :) Goodnight <3 

She answered with a little smile, it took a minute before she got a response. 

See you then! :) gn <3 

She smiled as she put away her phone, she was so lucky to have a friend like Felix, someone she could always count on. Despite the happiness he brought her, she still spent at least an hour staring at the ceiling her mind buzzing with thoughts. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicitas meets with her best friend to try and straighten out her confusion, though it only makes it worse

When Felicitas woke up the next day, the sun was shining so she decided that she'd walk to the café, usually she takes the bus despite it being only a 30 minute walk. She was exhausted since she'd barely slept at all that night but as soon as she got outside, she knew she'd made the right call to walk. The sun was warming her skin and there were just enough of a breeze to not make it too hot. As she arrived Felix was, as always, already there, leaning against the wall and soaking in the sun. Though he was so tall that you almost didn't notice that he was leaning, he was 2 meter after all which made him one of the few people taller than Felicitas. As a girl, especially when they were younger, it was nice to not be the tallest, her height in combination with her odd name had been the source of a lot of comments during high school but even as she'd gotten older guys had refused to date her because she was taller. 

"Hello." She greeted him with a hug. 

"Hi, you're in time, I'm impressed." He said, checking his watch after their hug. Felicitas answered with an eyeroll, she wasn't late that often, just sometimes. 

"I'm always on time." She defended herself "should we go inside?" 

"You're on time in your own world maybe." He laughed and nodded, holding up the door "after you." 

They went inside and got a coffee each, Felicitas also bought some toast, she hadn't had the time to eat anything before she got here so she was starving. She barely has the time to sit down before Felix gets his curious face. 

 

"Soooooooo, how did it go?" He said, really dragging out the o's, taking a sip from his coffee. 

"It was horrible." She sighed and Felix gave her that big brother protection look. "Not because of my date." She assured him but he still looked sceptical. "Whatever, we exchanged phone numbers, he walked me home but we agreed that it was all friendly." 

"Oh really?" Felix tilted his head to the right. "Then what was it that was so terrible?" 

"Well, first of all, I wanted a girls night and also Josef is super annoying." She sighed louder, taking a deep sip of her coffee. "Omid, my date, took this as me being in love with Rachel. Can you believe that ridiculous conclusion?" She scoffed. 

"Yes." Felix said, not a trace of sarcasm in his voice. "Yes, I can believe that he thought that. The thought have crossed my mind more than once." He shrugged, avoiding eye contact by looking down in his cup. 

"It's not funny Felix." She sighed, she really wasn't in the mood to play games with him, she was way too tired. 

"No it's not and I'm not joking. I really have thought about it myself." He sighed, pausing to lick his lips. "You keep talking about Josef as if he was this horrible guy but he's not and I've never heard you give one reason why you don't like him. So yes, I have wondered if maybe you have feelings for Rachel." 

"Felix, you know that I'm straight." She sighed, as she rubbed her right temple. "I just don't like Josef and no I don't know why but sometimes you meet someone who you don't like, there isn't always a reason." 

"Yeah I know. I'm just not as sure as you seem that it's what's happening here but we can drop it for now." Felix shrugs and Felicitas thanks him. The rest of their meeting they talk about everything between heaven and earth, the only exception being Rachel. After they said goodbye and Felicitas started her walk back home to get ready for work, she started to think about it again. About Rachel and how on earth two people thinks that she's in love with her. It was easy to understand that a stranger could make the mistake, but Felix? He knew her inside and out, they'd known each other forever. Sure, Rachel is smart, funny, beautiful and really good company, everything she'd want in a boyfriend, because if she were to fall in love it would be with a man. If there were something Felicitas were sure of in all of this it's that she's attracted to men. As soon as she stepped insider her front door her phone started ringing. She dug in the pocket of her jeans to get her phone and sighed when she saw Rachel's name on the display. She wasn't really in the mood, she was tired and tried to NOT think about Rachel and everything surrounding her. 

"Hello." Felicitas answered, trying her best to sound happy. 

"Hi!" Rachel answered in her usual high pitched happy voice. "How are you" She asked but didn't leave Felicitas any room to answer. "Did you and Omid click? Are you going on a second date? When can we double date again?" She spoke rapidly and Felicitas struggled to keep up with what she was saying. 

"Ehm, yeah, we decided to just be friends. He's nice and all but neither of us felt that extra spark." She answered as honestly as possible, she didn't feel the need to tell her why they'd decided to be friends, that it was mainly because he thought Felicitas had a crush on Rachel. 

"Oh, I thought you guys really clicked." She could almost hear the pout on Rachel's face as she spoke and Felicitas sunk down on her couch, kicking her boots of, she would have to shower before work. Her boots had been way too warm for today's weather. 

"I'm sorry." She answered in lack of other things to say, she wasn't sorry, but it was the only thing she could think off to say. 

"Don't be!" Rachel's happy voice was back. "We can go on a new double date! Josef has other friends." The thought of going through another double date felt like a million stabs in the gut. She'd barely managed to get through the last one and she just couldn't stand doing it again. 

"Not right now, I have a lot going on with work and stuff." It was a horrible excuse but she couldn't really say the truth now could she? Also, what was even the truth? Felicitas wasn't so sure anymore. Rachel sounded disappointed when answering "okay, another time then" and Felicitas just agreed, maybe she could learn to like Josef and this whole double date thing wouldn't be so bad. She said goodbye with the excuse that she had to shower before work. 

She wasn't in a rush but she didn't have anything to talk about with Rachel and she didn't want to hear about her and Josef. The positive thing was that she could really savour the shower, she spent more time of the shower just standing under the water than actual showering. Felicitas shift was terrible, not because there were much to do, on the contrary, it was a really slow night and it led her to spend too much time thinking about Rachel. It was frustrating, she didn't want to think about her, or at least not spend an entire shift doing so. It wasn't normal, you didn't think this much about a friend. The only thing that Felicitas could think of to get her mid of off Rachel was calling an old friend, or rather friend with benefits. It was a Friday night and when they still had contact he loved a good party so chances were that he was awake and out, so she sent him a quick text before preparing to close up. She was lucky enough to get a reply soon after the last guest leaving. He was indeed out partying, he asked where she wanted to meet up and they agreed on meeting outside her job. He was as handsome as always and a little tipsy which made him very happy. His name was Alejandro and it didn't take much for him to follow Felicitas home. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicitas spends a lot of time with Alejandro, which makes both Omid and Felix worried. Omid reaches out to her and tells Felicitas his story.

Over the next couple of weeks Felicitas spent most of her time working and partying with Alejandro. It didn't take them long to fall back into their old rhythm, the only thing they had in common was their love for a good party and horror movies, and then there was the sex part of course. She wasn't sure how he afforded all the partying, he never said he had to work to her and her only two guesses were that his parents were loaded or that he did something illegal. She decided long ago to believe in the first option. She still talked to Felix and Omid on a daily basis, though she avoided Rachel as much as possible, other than those three there weren't anyone she talked to daily. Her parents called every once in a while and she tried to call them too. Her life had turned into her old life, the life she'd when she first move out of her parents house. A life she'd eventually gotten sick of so she knew it wouldn't be fun for that long. The last time she stopped with the excessive partying was also the time when she and Alejandro lost touch. After like three to four weeks of this behaviour she woke up to find a text from Omid. He had tried to call when she was asleep and when she didn't answer he'd written that he was worried about her and that he'd like to meet up today. She looked to her side where Alejandro laid snoring and sighed. She told Omid to meet her in about an hour at a nearby coffee shop and started to wake up Alejandro who wasn't happy about it. 

"You're just waking me up and kicking me out?" He protested and he spoke in a loud voice. 

"If that how you want to put it, then yes." She said, getting out of bed. "Go up, get ready, or you'll leave here naked." She said, throwing his pants in his face. She wasn't in the mood for his whining. He was always like this when sober, which is why she never hung out with him outside of parties. It took her some time to get him out of the apartment so she was a little late. Omid greeted her with a hug and they didn't say much as they got inside and placed an order. Felicitas felt like shit, she'd been sleep very little the last weeks and was hungover. When they sat down and Omid was about to start talking her phone rang, she looked down and saw that it was Rachel, her plan was to ignore it but Omid insisted that she'd take it so she did. 

 

"Hi." She answered her phone, taking a sip from her coffee. 

"Hiii. I've got the perfect guy for a new blind date!" Rachel squealed and she had to move her phone away from her ear to not go deaf. 

"Oh.. I'm having coffee with Omid right now so I'll have to call you back. Bye." Felicitas excused herself quickly and hung up before Rachel had the time to answer. When she looked up Omid looked back at her with one eyebrow raised. "I am not in love with her." She sighed. 

"Sure." Omid answered, shaking his head. 

"I've starting seeing an old friend and we're intimate and it's amazing." Felicitas said confidently with a big smile on her face. 

"So?" Omid asks, neutral face, fingers tapping his cup. 

"So it's a GUY meaning I'm not gay. So I'm not in love with Rachel." Felicitas continued, still with confidence and a smile. 

"You are aware that there's something called bisexual? Which means you can be in love with Rachel and still be attracted to men." When Omid points this out her face fell all of her resent confidence washed away. She was so sure that she'd figured this out, that since she was still attracted to Alejandro she couldn't be in love with Rachel. 

"Yeah, but when I was twelve maybe thirteen and heard about it on the internet, people always said that it was just straight people experimenting or wanting to be cool, that it's not a real thing. So the thought has never crossed my mind no." She looked down in her cup, her hands wrapped around it and sighed. 

"Well, whoever said that is an idiot." Omid said, his voice stern but he looked at her with a soft face, signaling that he wasn't angry with her. "I'm bisexual." He admitted and Felicitas was surprised. For a second or two they sat in silence, she needed to process a little and Omid let her. 

"But.." She said as she looked up, her eye had been fixed on the table in between them. "How did you know?"

"It was really confusing, my first relationship was with a girl, we got together at 16 and then separated a week or two into collage. We thought, like all the couples, that we would be the ones who made it, that we would be together forever, but that didn't happen. So I spent my first year crushing on my roomate, though I didn't really admit it to myself until afterwards. Anyway, I spent that year focusing on my studies and going on a date or two with different girls. Then came year two, I met a guy and my first thought was that he was absolutely beautiful and this freaked me out a little. I got even more confused when it turned out that he was gay and started flirting with me. I of course declined, thanking but saying that I'm straight. Though since I said 'you're like super hot and all' to him, he didn't believe me and continued lowkey flirting. One night, like two months after I rejected him, we were at the same party and I had a little too much to drink. So when I bumped into him in an empty hallway, I just said 'you're so fucking hot' and then I kissed him. Even though it was a little messy since I was so drunk, it was the best kiss I'd ever had. Something that I told him the day after, so that he would know that I didn't do it only because I was drunk. We started dating but kept a low profile, mainly since I was scared to tell my parents. Most of my friends knew, but my parents are a little conservative so I was scared that they'd hate me. At this point in my life I identified as gay, I wasn't aware that there were another alternative than straight or gay. After I'd dated this guy for a couple of months, I was going home to visit my parents and I decided to tell them. I thought they deserved to know and I'm horrible at keeping secrets so it was better for them to find out in a good way. I was so certain that they would disown me, throw me out, that I'd booked a ticket back to campus and looked up scholarships. However, they didn't, my mother just wanted to know what his name was and what is favorite food was. My dad insisted that I'd bring him for dinner soon. They couldn't care less and I was relieved though surprised. Eventually we broke up, he cheated and broke my heart." Omid paused, taking a sip from his mug.

"Again I started my random dating, mainly to hook up with guys, I barely looked at girls since I was so sure that I was gay. During this period, I started using a social network called Tumblr, I was very into games and there were a lot of other fans there. It was on that website that I first heard about bisexuality, it caught my attention and I started to read more about it. Pretty soon after that I realized that I wasn't only attracted to men or women, I was attracted to both. I had truly been in love with my girlfriend from high school just as much as I had been in love with my boyfriend. I started talking to people identifying as bisexual and they were amazing support. So it took a couple of weeks, like a month and a half maybe, for me to feel absolutely sure about this, I told my friends and started dating girls again and of course continued to date men. The next time I got home I told my parents, again they didn't really react, they were just curious about what it meant and we talked a lot about it that weekend. So it took me time, but once I realized this, everything felt a lot better, it was like when I thought I was straight or gay, something was missing, something didn't feel quite right. I was repressing a side of me, but when I found out about bisexuality I didn't have to repress anything, I realized that I didn't have to choose a gender." Omid finishes his story and Felicitas is speechless. She doesn't know what to say, but obviously the people on the internet had been wrong, bisexuality was a real thing. Omid had gone through a lot to figure it out and he was real, his feelings were real.

"Wow." Is all she manages to get out. "I really don't know what to say." 

"It's okay." Omid smiled "it's a lot to take in, I know. But those people on the internet you talked to were wrong. I'm valid and I know what I'm attracted to." He puts his hand over hers. "Just think about it, take your time, there's no rush." She nodded in response, smiling back at him. 

"Thank you for sharing your story and telling me about this." She says when he tells her that he needs to go, that he had a client to meet up with. 

"No problem. Just call me if you ever need to talk, about this or anything else really." Omid says and hugs her goodbye. 

On her way back home her head is spinning with thoughts, she doesn't know where to start with all of this. She knows that she's supposed to call Rachel back but she just can't, not now when it felt like her head would explode. So instead she does what she always do when she needs to relax or sort her thoughts, she takes a trip to the gym. With her thoughts a little less messy, she calls Felix on her way back from the gym to ask if he could come over before she needs to work. He agrees to meet her at her apartment in 30 minutes. She needs to talk to someone who knows her and sometimes it feels like Felix knows her better than she does. Maybe he can figure this mess out because she sure as hell can't. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicitas is still struggeling with her feelings. But she finds a safe heaven in Tumblr.

Before the bus arrived at her stop, Felicitas had the time to create an account on Tumblr, the site Omid had talked about. She even has the time to search for blogs like the ones Omid told her about. It isn't hard to find them and she started following a few. As she got home she took a closer look on the blogs she followed and found some news ones too. One of the blogs she found answered a lot of questions, so she decided to send an anonymous question. She asks about how you know if you're bisexual and how to separate platonic and romantic feelings toward friends. As if on cue Felix stepped inside her apartment when she pressed send. He had a key to her apartment as well as she had one to his apartment, they never rang the doorbell. In fact she can't remember when they stopped doing that, it was way before they moved out, their parents saw them as an extra family member. 

"Hello!" He calls out from the hallway. "I brought food!" When he says he has food Felicitas is quick on her feet to meet him in the hallway. 

"What kind of food?" She asks, as excited as a dog when presented with a treat. 

"Well, it's vegan lasagne, your favorite." He said and she jumped with excitement until he raised a finger and added "though we need to cook it." 

"Ugh, fine." She pouted, she loved eating food but she hated making it. "But next time bring something we don't have to cook." She pointed her finger at him with a serious face. 

"Of course" he laughed thought they both knew it wouldn't happen. Felix loved cooking, which worked great for Felicitas since she didn't have to do much when they cooked, she only worked as an assistant which was a little better than being the cook. As they prepare the food she fills him in on what she and Omid had talked about and admitted that she felt confused. That before the meeting she'd been so sure, she was straight and not gay, she was attracted to men. She's still sure that she's not gay but was she really straight? Or was she, like Omid, bisexual? 

"I'm not you and I can't tell you what you feel. But, I think that it sounds pretty fitting, you know?" Felix says as he puts the lasagna in the oven. "I'll admit that I don't really know a lot about bisexuality, though it sounds like Omid and the people on that website does."

"It's called Tumblr." She interrupts him and he just shakes his head. 

"Yes, the people on Tumblr." He corrected and rolled his eyes. "Just, remember that it's okay to not know. That you're allowed all the time you need to figure out who you are and that I'll stand with you 100% the entire way and help the best I can." Even though it might not seem as much, his words really comforted her. She knew in her heart that he would never judge her, that he wouldn't be like the others from when she was young and say that it's not a real thing. However, deep down, she'd still had a fear that he would, he was the most important person in her life and having his support meant everything. 

"Thank you for being so understanding." She says, giving him a hard hug. 

"Anytime." He smiled and hugged her back. With that they dropped the subject and spent some time talking about life in general. Felicitas told Felix about how she'd started seeing Alejandro again and that he was still pretty but not smarter. A comment that made Felix laugh. He then told her about the disastrous dinner he'd had with his girlfriends parents. It was just a nice normal dinner which was nice to have before going to work. 

As she sat down on the bus heading to work, she picked up her phone and checked Tumblr. To her surprise she sees that the blog had already answered her question. Her heart beat a little faster as she clicked on the response and started reading it. 

 

Hi, anon! 

It can be a little tricky to figure out your sexuality sometimes and ONLY you can define it. But the definition of bisexuality is "a person that's attracted to two or more genders" so if you feel like that fits you, then you're bisexual, if not, there's a lot of other choices that's not straight or gay. 

As for your other questions it's a tough one. After thinking about it a little I'd say that how you see the difference between platonic and romantic is that, when it's romantic you want to be near the person more and theirs etc is a little (or way more) better than others. You can feel a little (or again very) jealous if this person is with someone else, especially in a romantic way (not speaking about polyamorous relationships). Then there's also the part where you think of the person as beautiful and if you're not asexual, you might have some sexual thoughts about this said person. Sometimes it's a really thin line between this romantic feeling and strong platonic feelings and it can be very difficult to separate them. 

Hope this helps and thanks for your question! 

 

She reads through the response a couple of times and it brings her calm. This is the third person telling her that it's okay to be confused, that it's normal and it's indeed hard to know sometimes. She's still not sure why she dislikes Josef, if it's because of jealousy or if she just don't click with him. Not to talk about if she's crossed the line between platonic and romantic feelings. Despite not being sure, despite not having more answers then this morning, her mind feels calmer. Everything doesn't feel as heavy anymore and she had no problem focusing on her work. She even fell asleep as soon as she got home, something she hadn't been able to do in a long time. 

Felicitas spends about a week and a half reading posts on Tumblr and talking to Omid. She's stopped the partying and with that stopped talking to Alejandro. She kept getting amazing advice from other people on Tumblr and everyone presses that it's important for her to take her time, that it's perfectly alright not to know right away. It was overwhelming having this support from strangers even though it felt like she'd known them for years after a couple of days. Especially this one girl she talked to all day, every day, they both worked as bartenders and dreamed of opening their own bar. They joked about opening one together, just moving to Miami and start a business together. Though neither of them had the money to do so, it sounded like a great plan, it would be a lot easier to start if you were a team. They even talked about countries like Greece or Spain, just moving there to start their own bar. However, this girl, Kim, also helped Felicitas to straighten out thoughts, sending her links to good posts she found. Kim was a really big part in Felicitas figuring out her feelings. So when the week and a half has passed she calls Omid, inviting him over. She had finally figured this mess out and she felt that Omid should be the first one to know, after all none of this would've been possible without him. When she heard the doorbell ring, she took a deep breath before going to open it. This was it. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicitas talks to Omid and he gives her advice on what to do.

Felicitas and Omid settled on the couch and Felicitas felt her palms getting sweaty and her heartbeat racing. She had no idea why she was so nervous, she knew that Omid would accept whatever she said. He wouldn't judge one bit, he'd only be happy for her, that she'd figured things out. 

"So, you wanted to talk?" He breaks the silence, giving her one of those warm smiles. She understood why he was such a successful lawyer, he had a way of making you feel comfortable enough to share all of your darkest secrets. There were just something about him that made you trust him instantly. 

"Yeah." She took a deep breath. "I've figured out this whole thing with Rachel." She swallowed hard and looked down on her hands, her palms pressed to her tigh. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't seem to get the words out so she just sat there. 

"And?" Omid asked, as he put one and over her hand. His voice was calm and it gave her comfort. 

"I'm in love with her, or more like a crush I think." Felicitas let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding in. "Point is, you were right and I, um, I'm bisexual." 

"How does it feel?" Omid asked, his voice still calm and he had a soft smile on his face. 

"Good." She answered with a mix between a scoff and a laugh, actually smiling back. It was like a heavy weight had lifted of off her chest as she said the words out loud for the first time. She's bisexual and now that she's accepted this, it felt like the missing pieces in her life fell into place. "But, what should I do now? About Rachel? She's still calling and texting about setting up another double date." Felicitas face fell as she realized that this was only the beginning. 

"Well, you have two options. Either you tell her the truth, that you have a crush on her and need space, also no double dates for obvious reasons. Or you tell her that you're in love with someone but that's it's a person who's in a relationship so it doesn't matter who it is, you just need some time away from dating to get over it." Omid laid it out as if it were one of his cases and his client had to make a choice before a trial. It made Felicitas smile a little. 

"How do I pick one?" She asked, her smile fading as she ran a hand through her hair. 

"I don't know, both option would put a strain on your friendship. Either you're lying to her and she's going to notice that something is off or she finds out about your feelings and might take a step back. It's going to affect you two in some way or another, it's more of a question of how honest you want to be and what would feel the most right for you." Omid said, still laying it out as a case. He was quite for a little while, moving his mouth a little to the left as he thought. "There's no right or wrong here. It depends on you and how your relationship with Rachel is." 

"I've never lied to her before. Well, except all the excuses I've told her the last couple of months while all of this has been going on." Felicitas swallowed hard. "If I were her I'd want to know the truth and I also hate lying. But it's terrifying to think about telling her. I have no idea how she's going to react, you know?" She sighed, she knew deep down that she wouldn't be able to lie to Rachel. 

"I can only guess, but I think she'd be mainly surprised. She not homophobic or biphobic that much I can tell you." Omid said as he squeezed her hand. 

"But, she's in a relationship, I don't want to come between that." Felicitas bit her lip and closed her eyes. 

"Tell her that, make sure she knows you're not trying to come in between her and Josef. Okay?" He dipped his head down to look her in the eyes and she nodded. 

"Okay, I'll call her now." She said as she reached out and picked up her phone from the table in front of them and took a deep breath before pressing call. It rang for so long that Felicitas almost thought that she wouldn't answer but just before she was ready to press cancel she answered.

"Felicitas! Hello!" Rachel squealed with excitement as she answered the phone call. 

"Rachel, hi." She tried to use a casual voice but she could hear how her voice was shaking. "I um, I was just wondering if .. " She cleared her throat and looked at Omid who gave her a soft smile and a little nod. "If you could come over today. I have something I need to talk about with you." 

"Yes, of course!" Rachel answered in an almost as happy voice as she'd answered the phone with, though you could hear that she was a little worried about what Felicitas wanted to tell her. "I can be at your place in an hour?" 

"That works, I'm home so just come when you're ready." Felicitas said, holding her breath not wanting Rachel to notice that anything was wrong or how nervous she was. 

"I'll see you then, I've really missed you." Rachel's voice had died down to her normal tone and Felicitas knew that she'd noticed that something was wrong. 

"Yeah, um, me too. See you soon." Felicitas answered, she didn't really lie, she'd really missed Rachel though not in the same way as she'd missed her. Felicitas just didn't want to feed her suspicion that something was up. They hung up and Omid hugged her, trying to keep her calm while waiting for Rachel. He promised to stay near by while she talked to Rachel, leaving her apartment 5 minutes before Rachel was supposed to show up. 

"I'm just taking a walk around the neighbourhood." He told her and gave her a quick hug before leaving her apartment. To Felicitas relief Rachel was early and she was only left alone for 2 minutes or so. They greeted each other with a hug and Felicitas took her to the kitchen, sitting down opposite to each other. Now her heart was beating so hard that it felt like it would break through her chest and it felt like her lungs had shrunk to grapes, that she didn't get enough air. This was it, she was going to tell Rachel about her feelings. It was do or die, there was a possibility that Rachel would get really upset. Felicitas swallowed hard. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicitas meets with Rachel and tells her about her feelings.

Felicitas struggled with getting her words out and they sat at the table in silence for a while. She didn't know where to start, like she couldn't just throw it out there, right? 

"What is it you need to talk about?" Rachel asked, breaking the silence. She looked at her with worried eyes and her hand was laying at the table, signaling that she was there if she needed comfort. But Felicitas decided to keep her hands in her lap. 

"I.. I've been very distant lately, avoiding your calls and stuff." Felicitas swallowed hard, it felt like she was going to throw up, but she had to pull through, there was no turning back now. "I, I just, I need to explain why." 

"You've been busy, it's not a big deal." Rachel said, leaning back against the chair, still with her hands on the table. 

"No, it's, um, it's not that." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I've been talking a lot to Omid and he, he's helped me realize that, I, I'm bisexual. And that .. I .. eh .. I .." She cleared her throat. "I have a crush on .. you." 

"Oh." Rachel said quietly and they sat in silence for a little while though it felt like a million years to Felicitas as she waited for a bigger reaction from Rachel. "You know that I'm in love with Josef, right?" Her voice was calm but Felicitas knew her well enough to hear that she was unsure, her voice cracking just a little. 

"Yes, I know, I'm not telling you this because I expect us to become something more than friends." Felicitas spoke fast, wanting to explain herself. "I don't want to get in the way of your relationship. Not one bit." She finished, letting out her breath. 

"Then why did you tell me?" Rachel asked, looking puzzled. However she kept her hands on the table which Felicitas took as a good sign. At least she wasn't repulsed by Felicitas confession. 

"Because I can't lie to you, I don't want to lie to you. You deserve to know the truth and not get some half-ass excuse to why I don't want to go on double dates." She licked her lips and taking a deep breath, she was still speaking rapidly. 

"Oh, I see." Rachel said but she was furrowing her eyebrows as she looked up at Felicitas again. "How does Omid fit into all of this?" 

Felicitas told Rachel the entire story, everything from their first walk together to their conversations and everything they'd done since the night of the date. How he'd told her his story, that she'd talked to people on Tumblr and slowly came to accept her feelings and sexuality. Rachel listened in silence, giving the occasional nod. 

"Well, I'm glad that something good came out of that double date." Rachel smiled softly. "And I really appreciate that you're being so honest with me. I know it's not easy." It was a huge relief that she took it so well, that she was so calm and understanding. 

"I just, I can't lie to you about this. I'd still love to have you as a friend and if I lied and gave you a bunch of bad excuses on why I wanted space, I feel like it would affect our friendship more than if I'm just being honest." Rachel nodded in agreement and Felicitas heartbeat slowed down to normal. "I just need some space first." 

"Of course, I'll give you space, but just know that you can call me anytime, as a friend. And I'm happy that you've gotten help from Omid and that I'm super proud of you for admitting this, being true not only to me but to yourself. I just know that you'll find someone who'll love you back, regardless of gender." Rachel said, squeezing her arm. "Take care of yourself, okay?" Felicitas nodded. 

"Yeah, you too." She answered, trying to smile but she suspected that Rachel saw through it and saw the sadness behind it, even if she didn't say anything, she just nodded and they walked to the hallway. They said their goodbyes, promising to keep in touch and all of those things that they both knew were unlikely to happen within the near future. Felicitas didn't know how much space she'd need and she wasn't so sure that they would be able to just go back to normal after this. But it didn't matter right now, her chest felt so much lighter now that she'd told Rachel, now that she'd accepted herself for who she was, who she's always been. When Rachel closed the door behind her, Felicitas sent a text to Omid. telling him that he could come back. In a matter of minutes he knocked on the door, asking how it went, his eyes filled with worry. Felicitas filled him in, telling him about what they'd said and how Rachel reacted. At the end he hugged her, telling her that he was proud over her. They decided that they should order some pizza and sat down on the couch, waiting for their delivery. It didn't take long for it to arrive, about 20 minutes if not less and they were surprised when the doorbell rang. They'd almost fallen asleep on the couch, not expecting the food to arrive for another 20 minutes or more. When Felicitas got back in the living room with the pizza, Omid looked at her with a mischievous smile. 

"What?" She said, narrowing her eyes. 

 

"Are you working tonight?" He asked, still with the smile on his face. 

"No?" She said as she put the pizza on the table. 

"Well, there's this party tonight and, my crush Will, he's going to be there. Want to come with me as moral support?" Still smiling as he added some puppy eyes. 

"Sure, why not." Felicitas said, shaking her head. She needed to go out and have some fun, it wouldn't help sitting at home and do nothing. So after they'd eaten their pizza Omid leaved to go home and get ready, promising to be back to take her to the party since it was a private one. As soon as he'd left Felicitas put on her favorite band, Iron Maiden and started searching her wardrobe. She needed the perfect outfit tonight she thought as she danced and sang along to the music. When Omid got back, she wasn't ready so went to sit on the couch while she curled her hair. But it was worth making him wait, because her winged eyeliner was perfect and her new flannel shirt fit perfectly, combined with deep red silk leggings and a black top showing off her belly, she felt amazing. For the first time in months she'd actually put down some work into her looks before going out and she really enjoyed it. It was nice feeling like herself again, after these rough and confusing couple of months it was nice to feel confident again. 

"I'm ready!" She shouted as she left her bathroom about 30 minutes after Omid had arrived at her front door. 

"Finally." Omid sighed dramatically and Felicitas rolled her eyes as she entered the living room. "You do look great though, I'll give you that." 

"Thank you, I'd say the same but you know." She said, grimacing. Within seconds they were both laughing. 

"Thanks for the encouragement when I'm supposed to go get my crush." He fake pouted as he got up from the couch. 

"Well, nobody likes a cocky guy so I'm doing you a favour." Felicitas said, shrugging, causing Omid to laugh as he agreed that indeed, nobody liked a cocky guy. 

"Should we go before you get cocky again?" Felicitas asked, ready to go to the party and have fun. 

"Yeah, look what I brought!" He shouted as he pulled out a vodka bottle from behind him, wearing a huge smile. 

"Perfect." Felicitas whispered with a huge smile on her face. "Finally you've made a good decision." 

They continued the banter as they walked toward the party, sharing the bottle of vodka, being as sneaky as they could with it. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicitas and Omid goes to a party, maybe they'll both find love?

"Okay, I'll admit it. I'm nervous." Omid whispered to Felicitas as they entered the garden of a huge house. It was a big mansion in white stone, the garden was like ten times as big as her apartment and were filled with flowers and bushes Felicitas had never seen before. 

"Who even lives here?" She whispered back even though she wasn't sure why they were whispering in the first place. 

"Just this rich brat that I went to law school with, he's annoying but hosts amazing parties. This is his parents house." He whispered back and she still wondered why they were whispering, there wasn't anyone around that could hear them. 

"What? Isn't he a little too old to live at home?" She giggled, a little tipsy after the bottle of vodka they'd shared on the way here. 

"He doesn't live here, he just thinks his house is too small for parties. But let me tell you a secret." Omid giggled as he lowered his voice even more. "His house is like half the size of this house." They paused outside the front door laughing so hard that they could barely breath and hissing "I'm going to pee my pants" in between laughs. Eventually they managed to stop laughing and get inside the house, walking straight to the table with drinks, grabbing a beer each. As they turned around Omid froze and whispered in her ear "that's him" while he looked over at a tall guy, maybe a little taller than her with messy brown hair and blue eyes, his skin was tanned to a degree that he must've been abroad lately or at least been to L.A or Miami. 

"Pretty." She whispered back. 

"I know right? He's just been to Australia teaching kids how to surf." He half whispered, half sighed. 

"Let's go over there." Felicitas said as she hooked her arm in Omid's arm. He tried to resist but she wouldn't let him, she was going to be a wingwoman today and he couldn't stop her. As they reached Will she noticed a beautiful girl beside him, she was short with long light blue hair, trashed fishnet stocking and an oversized t-shirt which was cut into a tank top, it was so big that it worked as a dress. Her thick lips were painted in a dark purple and her brown eyes were to die for. Felicitas realized that she was staring and tried to get a grip on herself, the goal here was to get Will and Omid together. 

"Hi, I'm Felicitas." She said, reaching out her hand toward Will. He smiled at her flashing his teeths, they were as Omid's impossibly white. It was getting annoying meeting all these people with perfect teeth, like somehow she'd gotten stuck in a toothpaste commercial. 

"Nice to meet you, I'm Will." He greeted her but quickly turned toward Omid. "And you're Omid right?" He continued to look at Omid as he licked his lips. 

"Yep, that's me, Omid." He chuckled a little nervously. "Helen, this is my friend Felicitas." 

"I keep telling you to call me Hel, you're impossible Omid." She sighed but quickly turned toward Felicitas. "Hello, Felicitas, I love your name. I'm Helen, but please, call me Hel." She smiled and Felicitas felt like she was melting, her legs turning into spaghetti. 

"Thanks. Hel is a cool name too." She smiled nervously. "Did you know that Hel was a goddess of death in nordic mythology?" She added rubbing her neck, cursing her mom's love for mythology. 

"No I did not." Hel smiled at her, eyes filled with curiosity. 

"She's gay, like super duper ultra mega gay." Omid whispered in her ear and pushed her toward Hel. She wasn't ready to get pushed and since she was a little tipsy she stumbled into Hel. 

"Oh god, I'm sorry." She said as Hel catched her without a problem. 

"No problem. Omid shouldn't be pushing around people just because he wants to bang Will." She answered as Felicitas got her feet on the floor again and took a step back. She just laughed nervously and corrected her shirt. 

"I love your outfit." Felicitas said, in an attempt to flirt. She wasn't used to flirting and especially not with a girl. 

 

"Thank you, I just came from a gig so I might smell a little thought." Hel laughed, her laugh sounded like an angel's laugh. 

"You play in a band?" Felicitas took a sip from her beer to calm her nerves. "That's cool, what kind of music?" 

"Punk ish." She answered, still smiling at Felicitas and her legs felt even more like spaghetti. 

"I love punk!" She bursted and it wasn't a lie, though most people didn't believe her when she said she wasn't into pop music, that she preferred metal and punk. "The music here is shit." She added, they were playing techno and to her it was just a bunch of noises, she didn't get the hype at all. Hel agreed and suggested that they'd go outside to talk and get away from the terrible music. They left Omid and Will who didn't even seem to notice and aimed for door on the other side of the room that was propped open. As they got out the cold air hit her face and she shivered a little. 

"You want my coat?" Hel asked, holding up her leather jacket. 

"Don't you need it?" She asked but Hel just shook her head. "Oh, I'd love to then." She smiled and Hel put the jacket around her shoulders. "Thanks." Felicitas smiled at her. A few meters from the house they found a bench and sat down. They spent the entire party there, talking about everything and nothing, only taking breaks to pee or grab more beer. They had a lot in common and Hel was really nice and easy to talk to. After Felicitas tenth or something beer, her courage level was high enough to kiss Hel. She didn't even think about it, suddenly they were sitting pressed together and her lips were so close to her own that before she knew it she was kissing Hel. It was like fireworks in her belly and they spent god knows how long just making out on the bench. Inside the party died down but the two girls didn't notice, to them the only thing that existed in the world were each other. 

"Excuuuse meee" Omid sang from beside them, he was clearly very drunk as he giggled when they looked at him, beside him stood Will swaying back and forth, equally if not even more drunk. "This party is so dead it's buried. Or something. Whatever, some people are on their way to an afterparty, wanna come?" He leaned against Will and they giggled, almost falling over. "Or do you wanna makeout on this bench until you freeze to death?" The girls just sighed and agreed to follow them to the afterparty. It was only a five minute walk from the first party in another huge mansion, though this one was smaller and had a boring garden. Hel and Felicitas danced and kissed for hours until people around them started falling asleep and the music stopped. Hand in hand, laughing, they searched the house for a place to sleep. Eventually they found an empty room with a small couch and they thumped down on it, pressed together, giggling and kissing as they slowly fell asleep.

 

"I'm glad Will dragged me to this party." Hel whispered into Felicitas hair. "He just wanted to go because he has a crush on Omid."

"Omid dragged me here because of a crush on Will." Felicitas giggled. 

 

"Good thing they've been crushing on each other." Hel giggled back and pressed a kiss on Felicitas' neck. Hel fell asleep before Felicitas and she watched her sleep with tired eyes as the sun started to rise outside. When her eyes hurt too much to stay awake she closed her eyes.

It was amazing how life could change so much in such a short amount of time, she thought as she pressed a soft kiss on Hel's forehead before finally falling asleep, pressed together with an amazing and the hottest girl she'd ever seen. And it all started with meeting the right person, meeting someone who would tell her about bisexuality without being dismissing of it. Without Omid she feared that she would've spent her entire life in denial, unknowingly missing the chance of love. 


End file.
